Day One of Recommitment

Well the day I have been waiting for (or dreading depending on the moment) has finally come. Yes, its Valentines Day and all of those goals that I listed below started today. The biggest and most scary goal, was starting P90X (but I was still excited)!

I woke up this morning, energized and promising to make good choices. I was a bit stuffy, but thought it would ride itself out (it didn't), but here is a list of what I turned down today...
-- chocolate chips cookies (nurses last day gave guilt trip), sugar cookies with frosting, brownies with    chocolate frosting, brownie bites, doughnuts and doughnut holes, and taco dip!
-- lunch was catered today, the sandwiches appeared safe (just ham and cheese) but I decided I didnt want them because I didnt know the calories for sure, so I ate a HC meal instead

Unfortunately as the day went on, I got sicker and sicker. Valentine's Day is less than romantic around here with me sneezing, coughing, etc. After I spike a fever or >101 I decided that P90X would have to wait a bit.

I am sooo mad. I never get sick ... and yes even though I know it makes no sense, part of me feels like a failure. Part of me feels that if I cannot do what I promise, then I should pick a new date and start over. Unfortunately, that would result in bad eating for the days until then. Yes part of me realizes that all or nothing is not the way to go here. And yet, the other part of me does not want to throw todays good day and good choices away.

Is is possible... am I getting my head on straight? Its not all or nothing, its about making good choices! And just because I am sick and cant do P90X does NOT give me a license to eat whatever I want. Thinking THAT is unhealthy!

So thanks to you guys (and your increased accountability knowing that you were looking for my contributions) I am officially back ...

My weigh in this morning was 252.6 (down a couple from last week, but still up from prior to January).
Oh and PS. I love you all so much!!